Guilt

05 January 2010 - gulit-striken

My 1st day of school today. And to think that I jump up at 0900 when my class starts at 1000. As usual, I was slightly late for this tutorial just like before. So it wasn't weird.

BPP lecture is still as naggy as before. But I still wanted to take up biopharma option in year 3. Sounds very contradicting. But I guess it's what my interest lies in I hope. Petrol chemical is like interesting, but not really my cup of tea i guess.

After lesson is all about CEL presentation tomorrow.

To say the truth, I feel guilty over 2 things.
1) not putting in my usual effort in the PBL presentation. Instead is referencing here and there, trying to piece up our own presentaion as our own. I'm just giving up more and more on studies.

2) I shouldn't have scolded my sister. I guess I know the reason why she doesn't approached me whenever she has problems in her school work and home work. And somehow when I knew about this, I feel sad. She's my sister yet she can't approach me. Instead, she rather wait for my dad to come home to ask him.

I know I shouldn't be like a porcupine to my own sister. But sometimes, I guess I just can't stand her stupidity over simple things. But she also wont tell me what she don't understand when I explain. So I really have no idea how to teach her at all.

I guess that's the reason why I never wanted to be a tuition teacher part-time. Or maybe it's beccause she's my sister hence I never have the patience for her.

DO all elder siblings really behaved like I do?

I hope not. But I really feel upset over this fact. Even if I do want to improve, I can't do it alone. Any suggestion to change this?

Studies are no longer the pirority of mine anymore. So instead of thinking how my gpa can be maintained and not pulled down. I guess I rather spend more time thinking how I can make myself more approachable to my sister. I really don't wish to know that she dare not approach me at all.

Back to self-reflect.